Can I Trust God?

As the parent of an almost-adult teenager, I find myself up against new challenges on a regular basis. How much freedom is too much? How much restriction will push her over the line to rebellion? How is being a teenager different now than it was 30 years ago? What will others think of the choices I'm making as a parent? And the most surprising of all (to me)...can I really trust God when it feels like the floor is continually falling out from underneath me? 

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

When what I thought I knew I am no longer sure of, can I still trust God? When my heart is wrenched out of my body, twisted, stepped on, and shoved back in by the choices and actions of those I care about, does God still have a plan, and can I trust Him to follow through with it? As an INTJ, is my sensible, logical way not better for her? Won't it keep her safe from harm, and isn't that really what we want? Can I really trust God with THIS? 

This is hard. This isn't in a book. There are no standard answers because there are no standard people. We are all unique, we are all different...and yet we are all made in the image of God. So, in the end, the answer to my big question - can I trust God? - is yes. But what does that look like? 

• First of all, it looks like spending quite a bit more time in His Word. It's hard to trust someone you don't really know, and one of the best ways to know God is to saturate yourself in His love letter to us - the Bible. 
• It also involves quite a bit more communication in the form of prayer. But not just praying that God will do things your way, rather, praying for God's will to be done, asking Him to change you (rather than the person you're praying for), and then being still long enough to hear from His Spirit.
• There's some necessary introspection as well. Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager? Do you recall your own frustrations and missteps? And more than that, do you remember what you learned from them? What if your parents swooped in and protected you from the fallout? Would you have learned in the same way? My guess is, no, you wouldn't have.
• And finally, looking back at what God has already done. This is why pillars of remembrance, whether physical (pile of rocks or shelf full of journals) or mental, are so important, because we, like the Israelites, are a forgetful people. But when you can look back and see what God has already done, the prayers He has already answered, the ways He has led you before, it's easier to believe that He will do it again. 

So, can I trust God? Can I trust Him when I receive that call at midnight? Can I trust Him when a child runs blindly towards the world? Can I trust Him to give me wisdom when the time comes? Yes, I can. Why? Because He's done it before. Because He saved me from my own stupid choices. Because when I fervently seek Him, He is faithful to respond. Because both the Old and New Testaments are filled with this truth, this hope that is ours if we so choose to accept it. 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Pr. 3:5-6)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Heb. 13:8)

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD Himself, is the Rock eternal. (Is. 26:3-4) 

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Rom. 8:28) 

Will it be easy? No. Will there be days when you want to take over again, because clearly God didn't get the memo about your plan for your kids (or your life)? Yes. Will you still wake up at 3 AM every night of the week and be faced with the choice to trust Him again or wallow in your pit of "what ifs"? I'm not going to lie, this may quite possibly continue to happen (even as I'm learning to let go and trust Him, this is still a nightly battle for me). But GOD is faithful. GOD is trustworthy. GOD is good, even when all you can see in the moment is darkness. 

Rejoice always, pray continually, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you, in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)