That You May Know Him Better

The Reality: Sometimes life is just HARD.

Sometimes everything is going along easily and you start to pinch yourself, thinking, "Wow, how did we get here? Thank you, Jesus!" And then, unexpectedly, the other shoe drops, and you think, "Wow...how did we get HERE? Help me, Jesus!" This is the case whether you've adopted or birthed your children, whether you're single, widowed, or divorced, whether you've never had kids or never been married. Life changes in an instant and you're left scrambling to figure out how the pieces fit now.

And it's not always changing for the worse! Sometimes they are good changes. Changes that bring about opportunities to grow, to trust God more, to step out in faith. But even exciting changes can be scary. Stepping into the unknown is always a leap of faith, even when you trust that God is guiding you. When we adopted our 5, we KNEW - no shadow of doubt - that God called us to do it, but that didn't keep us from quaking in our boots.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

The last few days have brought about some challenging changes in dynamics for us - not bad, per se, but different. New. Potentially hard and full of pitfalls. There have been some tears, some anger, and a WHOLE lot of prayers for wisdom. I think it's often easier to step out in faith when it only involves you, or perhaps you and your spouse, but when it involves your child or children, it's a little harder.

This week I felt protective of the kids, not wanting them to have to deal with...well, I guess with life. Which isn't realistic, and that's quickly where God brought me. He reminded me, yet again, that these kids belong to Him - I'm just a temporary caretaker (just like ALL parents - biological, adoptive, or foster). He created them, He saved them, He is growing them, and He knows what their futures hold. He already knows the challenges they will face, and how they will respond. My job is to pray, to guide, and, ultimately, to continually point them back to Christ and the Scriptures for...everything!

Take ACTION: Pray for your kids!

I was reading in Ephesians yesterday and was struck by Paul's prayers for the church in Ephesus and how appropriate they were to pray on behalf of our kids (emphasis mine)...

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, SO THAT YOU MAY KNOW HIM BETTER. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that YOU MAY KNOW THE HOPE TO WHICH HE HAS CALLED YOU, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and in His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms," {Ephesians 1:17-20 - NIV}

This. This is my prayer for the children God has placed in our home. This is my prayer for myself - that I may know Him better and know the hope to which He has called me. This is my encouragement for you - to pray this for yourself, your children, your spouse, your church family. The world will crumble and fall - some days it feels like it already is! - but the Word of God will last for ever, and His power will sustain us through the highs and lows of our earthly lives.

Why Adoption Requires Us to Pursue God

While out for my morning walk today, I was listening to the audio version of A.W. Tozer's classic book, The Pursuit of God (this link takes you to the FREE Kindle & Audio version). It's no secret that the writings and wisdom of Tozer have played an important role in my life (especially when it comes to battling anxiety), but I almost came to a full stop as I listened to the narrator read the following passage (it's long, but it's so worthwhile to read!)...

The idea of cultivation and exercise, so dear to the saints of old, has now no place in our total religious picture. It is too slow, too common. We now demand glamour and fast flowing dramatic action. A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relations with God. We read our chapter, have our short devotions and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting or listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar.

The tragic results of this spirit are all about us. Shallow lives, hollow religious philosophies, and preponderance of the element of fun in gospel meetings, the glorification of men, trust in religious externalities, quasi-religious fellowships, salesmanship methods, the mistaking of dynamic personality for the power of the Spirit: these and such as these are the symptoms of an evil disease, a deep and serious malady of the soul.

For this great sickness that is upon us no one person is responsible, and no Christian is wholly free from blame. We have all contributed, directly or indirectly, to this sad state of affairs. We have been too blind to see, or too timid to speak out, or too self-satisfied to desire anything better than the poor average diet with which others appear satisfied. To put it differently, we have accepted one another's notions, copied one another's lives and made one another's experiences the model for our own. And for a generation the trend has been downward. Now we have reached a low place of sand and burnt wire grass and, worst of all, we have made the Word of Truth conform to our experience and accepted this low plane as the very pasture of the blessed.

It will require a determined heart and more than a little courage to wrench ourselves loose from the grip of our times and return to Biblical ways. But it can be done. [...]

What God in His sovereignty may yet do on a world-scale I do not claim to know: but what He will do for the plain man or woman who seeks His face I believe I do know and can tell others. Let any man turn to God in earnest, let him begin to exercise himself unto godliness, let him seek to develop his powers of spiritual receptivity by trust and obedience and humility, and the results will exceed anything he may have hoped in his leaner and weaker days.

Any man who by repentance and a sincere return to God will break himself out of the mold in which he has been held, and will go to the Bible itself for his spiritual standards, will be delighted with what he finds there.

Let us say it again: The Universal Presence is a fact. God is here. The whole universe is alive with His life. And He is no strange or foreign God, but the familiar Father of our Lord Jesus Christ whose love has for these thousands of years enfolded the sinful race of men. And always He is trying to get our attention, to reveal Himself to us, to communicate with us. We have within us the ability to know Him if we will but respond to His overtures. (And this we call pursuing God!) We will know Him in increasing degree as our receptivity becomes more perfect by faith and love and practice.

O God and Father, I repent of my sinful preoccupation with visible things. The world has been too much with me. Thou hast been here and I knew it not. I have been blind to Thy Presence. Open my eyes that I may behold Thee in and around me. For Christ's sake, Amen.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

From the beginning of our adoption journey (which started back in 2012), we have been bombarded with book recommendations and human examples that we were encouraged to explore, follow, and emulate. In the two and a half years since we met and began our journey with our five children, we have faced praise and adulation for our choices to follow God and turn our world #rightsideup. The reality is that we neither agree with the human "wisdom" found in the training books nor have we modeled our parenting choices after those who have adopted before us. Nor do we deserve any accolades for (reluctantly) following what God told us to do. 

We didn't adopt because someone else we knew had. We didn't adopt because we wanted children (read our story to know why that wasn't the case!). We didn't adopt because we were looking to find fulfillment or scratch a spiritual itch. We didn't adopt because we were inspired by a book or a video. We adopted because we chose to obey a calling. Because we made a choice to trust God, even when we thought He had the wrong people. Adoption was our way of choosing to pursue God. 

I have had parents come up to me and say, "Why are things going so well for you? What are you doing? Do you have any recommendations?" Yes, yes I do, and it's so simple you won't believe me. Devour Proverbs. Read Deuteronomy 11. Don't ignore the truth of God's Word. Throw out the adoption and parenting books written by so-called experts, and listen to the One who created your children. In our baptism-by-fire parenting experience, the biggest lesson we have learned is that if we want to be the parents these kids need, we MUST pursue God in our own lives. We must become receptive to what He wants us to learn, and how He wants us to engage and interact with the children (and others). We must break ourselves out of the mold to which we have become comfortably accustomed, and go to the Bible for our spiritual (and parenting) standards. We must actively pursue the things of God - as individuals, and as (adoptive) parents. 

Tozer reminds us that "we have accepted one another's notions, copied one another's lives and made one another's experiences the model for our own." Stop looking at everyone else, accepting their solutions for discipline and structure, copying their choices and wishing for their experiences. God didn't give you their life. He didn't give you those kids. He didn't allow you to experience everything that has brought them to this point. Stop looking back towards Egypt and start being open to what God has for you - uniquely you - and those that He has allowed you to influence. In order to be the parent (or spouse or friend or co-worker or child) that God wants you to be, you must put aside all worldly wisdom and actively, passionately, and proactively pursue a deeper relationship with our Maker. I guarantee that you will be amazed and humbled by the results.