New To Homeschool? Take a Breath...

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, back in the mid-80's, there was a young girl who's parents decided to take a different educational path with her than they had with her four older siblings. The girl's mother, a teacher, went to a local bookstore for research and the owner asked her if she had considered homeschooling. She left with a set of Mary Pride's books on Home Learning, and read them late into the night. That was the beginning of a journey that the parents agreed to try for one year. One year led to two, and then three, and eventually the girl graduated (a year early) from high school, having successfully completed 12 years of education at home, and went on to attend the college of her choice. When, after a year and a half of traditional in-class work, she heard about a new online option to complete her degree, she jumped on board, dialed-up (literally), and two and a half years (and several Dean's Lists later), graduated with a Bachelor of Science in English. Because, hey...once you start living life outside the box, why not keep going, right? After graduation she spent several years working abroad with her husband, and eventually returned to the U.S. where she built a successful career doing freelance writing and editing, and eventually adopted five children from Costa Rica.

Hi. I'm Carrie, and I was homeschooled. I share this as an encouragement to you, especially those of you who may have been forced into homeschooling this year (thanks to COVID), and are afraid that you may have just irreversibly screwed up your kids. Trust me, you haven't. 

Despite the homeschool critic's age-old battle cry of "what about socialization?" I can, in fact, carry on an intelligent conversation with individuals of all ages, races, cultures, and viewpoints. I wasn't socially awkward (well, anymore than I would have been anyway, as an introvert), and I held my own in every university I attended (three, in total, thanks to an early marriage and moving around). I grew up with both homeschool and public school friends, traveled extensively, and generally enjoyed the benefits of education at home. 

When people find out that I was homeschooled, I have been told (more than once) that I seem "so normal." Hmm...thanks...I think. Normal was never my goal, by the way. Were there people we knew who shouldn't have homeschooled? Absolutely. But the same could be said of some teachers we've met over the years (who shouldn't be in a classroom). So it goes both ways. 

Photo by Thomas Kolnowski on Unsplash

Now, let me tell you another chapter of this story...

Four years ago I had homeschool curriculum all ready, bookshelves stocked, and idealistic dreams of bringing five kids home and spending our days together, learning English and building relationships. And then we met the kids. #realitycheck

Within days of our first meeting, I was in a full-blown panic, and fearfully told Peter that I just didn't know how I could homeschool these kids. Not only could I not communicate with them due to the language barrier, but they all hated me (and, let's be honest, the feeling was pretty mutual at that time). Much to my surprise, he agreed. And then, even more to my surprise, so did my parents...and all of our friends in the homeschool world. And suddenly we were back to square one, and I found myself thinking of something I never imagined doing: maybe we should put them in public school. 

As a homeschool graduate, it almost felt like blasphemy to even think it, let alone act on it, but when you feel like you're drowning, you find you'll reach out for any hand that is held out. And so we reached out via email to a friend back in our hometown, who connected us to our local public school, and four of the kids were registered before we ever got on a plane to come home. Meanwhile, my mother trekked to a small private school and spent an hour talking to the headmaster about options for our oldest. Within a week of landing on U.S. soil, all of the kids were in their respective schools. That first year was hard, but it was made easier by the tribes that we found to help us out.

For school year two, we moved them all to the same private school, where they stayed for the next two years, making things considerably easier on myself. I briefly considered homeschooling when our oldest graduated from 8th grade, but I still felt panicked at the idea of having them all home, all day, every day, so instead, we moved our two oldest to a larger private school, and I did the car line runaround every day of the week. I told anyone who would listen that if God wanted me to homeschool these kids, He was going to have to put a neon light in the sky. 

For the record, I apologize to the world for the neon light, also known as COVID-19. 

I should really know better by now than to tell God that I need neon lights. First it got me five kids when I never planned to be a parent, and then it landed me in the teacher's chair when I clearly changed my major in college from education to general studies. But here we are. 

As He did in giving me almost two years to get used to the idea of becoming a mom to five, God was once again gracious in beginning the nudge to homeschool last summer, allowing me to refrain, and then bringing the kids home in March (thanks to the coronavirus) for a "try before you buy" option. Whether I wanted to have them home all day, all the time, or not...they suddenly were. And I was suddenly responsible for making sure they got their assigned work done and being a lot more hands-on with their education. If you have school-age kids, you know what I'm talking about. We were all in the same boat. 

But what I discovered surprised me. Not only was it not as bad as I thought it would be, but I found myself being underwhelmed by what they knew - or were expected to know. And the wheels started turning. Both Peter and I believe in holding the bar high for what we know they are capable of achieving, and we also knew that enrolling all five in the larger private school - as we intended - was going to really stretch the budget. In addition to that, I was watching all the COVID panic unfold, and I didn't see an end in sight. Something told me that school was not going to play out as usual for the 20/21 school year, and whether we could swing it financially or not, I might still end up with all five of them doing school from home. 

The final nail in the coffin came when my primary client dropped my hours by about 90% (directly linked to the impact of the virus on businesses everywhere). With my loss of income, there was no way that we would be able to swing five kids in a private school, and in an instant, I knew that the decision had been made for me. I informed the school that our circumstances had changed and we would not be able to return this fall, and spent the next two days researching curriculum, buying lesson plan books, and registering with HomelifeAcademy and HSLDA. I had come full circle: from homeschool student to homeschool mom. 

Knowing that there would be no summer camps or ways to fill the endless summer days (after an endless spring at home), I made the decision to begin school in mid-June, just two weeks after the 19/20 school year ended. There were a few minor complaints from the kids, but since they quickly realized there was nothing else to fill their days, we all settled in pretty quickly and found our groove. In the two and a half months that we have been plugging away, I've seen massive growth in all of them. Those who were struggling to read when they came home in March, are now reading their history and science text books solo, and making A's on their (closed book) tests and quizzes. The ones who balked at being expected to actually read for understanding and remember what they learned, have now figured out ways to study for exams and are pointing out vocabulary words in the books that they're choosing to read for fun in their free time. 

Let me be clear: I am still not a teacher. But no one cares more about these kids and their academic and life success, than I do. And that's all that matters in the end. I am personally invested in making sure they have what they need to be successful, and I get excited when I see something click in their heads as they read or study. There's no greater "high" as a teacher or mom than to see the light bulb moments, and to feed into their interests so that they realize that learning doesn't just happen in a classroom...it happens in life. Right now, on the base of the world globe that is sitting on my desk, you would find a dead beetle, two cicada shells, a blue egg shell, several bird feathers, and a slowly dehydrating fly that we're still attempting to identify. 

As we have done from the beginning of our parenting journey, we are just taking this one school year at a time. I may still be finding my way as a homeschool mom and teacher, but as a homeschool graduate, I can say with confidence that if you're concerned that your kids won't come out of this year the same, you'd be absolutely right. They will come out with more confidence, a variety of usable life skills, and a new way of relating to you as someone other than the person who puts food on the table. Go forth and conquer...